Sigh. Yesterday morning I went in for a jazz audition. At my small performing arts school in the valley, jazz is definitely the highest ensemble instrument class to get in to. And the judges for the audition are always super intimidating on a feeble person like me. One judge was a vocal performance and composition major that had won several "Jazz Performer of the Year" awards for local performances given. And this woman has been in the business for quite some while. . . She is nearing fifty years in a couple of months and has sung at countless weddings and jazz shows, I was a nervous wreck knowing I had to perform in front of her. The other two were instrumentalists, one a Cuban piano player whose album was nominated for a Latin Grammy Award, and the other a popular jazz drummer in the community college, well, community around here. Needless to say, I definitely took a lot of time in preparing for this audition. Even if i didn't get in, I still wanted to show them that I had the capability to really work hard for something that I wanted (and this is exactly the kind of drive that is needed in this industry, or so I've been told). So, I picked a song to sing that I already knew: You Took Advantage of Me. Now, to be completely honest, the only reason I know this song is because of the recent remake of Fame, where the talented Megan Mullaly performs this at a karaoke club. I know!! I should know this jazz standard anyway, especially if I want to be in a higher level jazz class. . . So anyways, I spent FOREVER looking for a decent backing track and I couldn't find one anywhere. But luckily (or maybe not so luckily, as you will find out) my friend Joel bailed me out and said he wanted to accompany me on guitar. Now, let me tell you about my buddy Joel. He's a drummer and guitarist and has been playing for a long time, and he really, truly does have talent. But sometimes, he likes to pretend that he knows everything and he can get a bit cocky. So, he started to advise me on my audition, and said that I should perform a ballad as well. He picked (let me restate that again, he picked for himself) Why Try to Change Me Now, which is a beautiful song made famous by such interpreters as Frank Sinatra and Fiona Apple. I learned the song and was so happy with the outcome that I actually became excited for jazz auditions. I would definitely show them how talented I was now!! But then, audition week came. Joel didn't realize that the audition date was scheduled to be around the same time as his college class, so he said I had to get  to school at around 9:30 in the morning so he could make it on time to his class. And any singer who is anything like me at all knows how terrible their voice sounds in the morning. . . So I just said to myself, "Don't worry about it. . . you can drink some green tea. . . and then maybe do a couple dozen warm ups on the piano. . . and you'll be fine. Possibly.". Then, to make matters worse, Joel was busy all that week, so the only time we got together to rehearse was the night before the performance. AND HE FORGOT HIS LEAD SHEETS AT HOME. He knew the A sections to both songs, but didn't bother to learn the B sections. So he pretty much just wasted our practice time by playing on my Roland.

The next day, Joel drove into school at around 10. I asked him if he learned the songs, and he said "Don't worry about it, it's all taken care of.". I supposed we must have terrible communication or something, because when we went on stage, he played a completely different song that I was totally unprepared to sing. God, I sounded terrible! I changed keys going into the B section, and forgot the words, and when I wouldn't do what he was expecting me to do, he said "We're tagging the ending." right in front of the judges. Probably one of the worst performances I have given in my life. So, here's the lesson learned. Either don't give up looking for a backing track, or hire a GOOD accompanist that's actually used to playing with singers. And make sure this guy is responsible too, cause forgetting lead sheets is possibly the worst thing that you could ever do. Luckily I still made it in the jazz class, because the judges asked me to scat over a chord progression and I did pretty good (mostly because it didn't require Joel to be playing anywhere near me). So I guess it ended well. Joel, however, will not be hired again. . .